Play-a-week Project

4-12-19

CARA and SAM are eating lunch. CARA has a hole in her head.

SAM
Tell me about the hole.

CARA
I used to wear a bulletproof vest but then I got shot in the head.
I had forgotten about helmets.

SAM
Does it hurt?

CARA
No.

SAM
Is it at risk of—

CARA
Can we not talk about the hole?

SAM
Sorry.

CARA
It’s OK, just people always ask about it and I don’t actually think about it that often.
It’s just the hole in my head, you know?

SAM
Sure. It doesn’t impact your life, so why—

CARA
No, it definitely impacts my life. I always know which way the wind is blowing because I can feel its whoosh around my brain. And I’m pretty analytical because the hole’s in the right side of my head. And I’m afraid of swimming in the ocean.

SAM
Because of sharks?

CARA
I don’t want to talk about the hole.
But no, not because of sharks.

SAM
Where did you grow up?

CARA
In the outskirts of the city—in what some folks call the outskirts of the city—there lies a huge fuckin pile of dirt 

SAM
Oh!

CARA
You’ve seen it?

SAM
I have.

CARA
In the pile there is a hole.

SAM
I did not know that.

CARA
I grew up in that hole.

SAM
How was that?

CARA
I don’t want to talk about the hole.

SAM
OK.

(They eat)

SAM
The shooting that you were in…

CARA
Yes?

SAM
Was it to start a class war or a race war?

CARA
What’s a race?

SAM
You know what a race is.

CARA
Do I?

SAM
You knoooooow.

CARA
Maybe it’s a right brain thing.

(They eat)

CARA
It was a revenge shooting—this guy used to work at the candy store, and then he got fired, so he returned and shot up the Peppermint Room.

SAM
And you worked in the Peppermint Room?

CARA
I did.

SAM
How did it smell?

CARA
Divine.

SAM
Why did he get fired?

CARA
He didn’t embody the spirit of the Peppermint Room.

SAM
What does that mean?

CARA
It means he didn’t embody the spirit of the Peppermint Room.

SAM
Which is?

CARA
Polite
Enthusiastic
Peppy
Protective
Effervescent
Reliable
Multitalented
Improvementfocused
Neighborly
True

SAM
Most of those are synonyms

CARA
He thought so too.
The peppermint bark splintered into thousands of tiny pieces and one lodged in our boss’ eye.
The particles from the hot cocoa kits flew into the air and made it difficult to breathe.
There was a candy cane forest fire.
It all smelled so fresh.
Where was yours?

SAM
I’ve been in a couple.
Columbine, —

CARA
You were in Columbine?

SAM
I was.

CARA
Jesus.

SAM
Also one at a hockey game and one at a concert.

CLARA
The country one?

SAM
No, the folk one.

CLARA
So that was not your first rodeo.

SAM
It was my third rodeo.

CLARA
Do you fear a lot?

SAM
I used to.
I still do.
Mostly, I can think of myself as very unlucky or very, very lucky. So.

CLARA
So?

SAM
Depends on the day.

Elise Wien