8-8-19

A
Dude what the fuck

B
I know

A
Dude

B
Dude I know

A
What
What

B
I know

A
What happened?

B
I fell
I fell over
I tripped over a root.
Under a root, and my face hit a rock.

A
Dude it’s bad

B
I know

A
It’s gonna freak out the customers.

B
You think?

A
It looks really like

B
I know

A
Really domestic abusey

B
Yeah.

C
Hey you guys talking about Gary Busey?

B
Yeah.

C
He really elevated the latest Sharknado for me.

B
Should I bring it up? Or will they?

A
I don’t know that I would.

B
It’s not that bad.

A
It is.

C
Sharknados 1 through 3 just lacked star power.
For me.

A
What if you put on makeup?

B
I tried.

A
You tried.

B
I can go to Sephora.
But, what, I’d be like, ‘I hit my face on a rock’ and they’d be like ‘...okay?’

A
That’s roughly how it would go.  

B
I kind of like it.

A
That’s not good.

C
Because the first Sharknado had an actual element of suspense, you know?
The first Sharknado was sincere.

B
People look scared of me on the street. No one’s ever scared of me.

A
Duuuuuuude

B
Dude I know
What if it’s like this forever?

A
It won’t be. 
Are you in pain?

B
No.
Well yes but it has nothing to do with this.

C 
It had real climate truth telling potential but it also lacked clarity.
Is it a tornado with sharks in it? Or is it a tornado caused by sharks? And if it’s the latter how did this happen? Like what’s the world of Sharknado and how did we get there?
Is it that the sea levels are so high that sharks live on land now? What happened to the landsharks?
Are the sharks the victims here?
Does there exist the possibility of a whalenado?

B
It makes you appreciate being young—you take a fall like this in your 60s and you’re dead.

C
Because sharks have a lot of teeth, don’t get me wrong they have so many teeth but if we’re talking about body mass slamming into you, a whale is going to do the most damage.

B
So we’re really lucky, is all I’m saying.

C
Obviously I’ve never seen the movies, but I have read through the Wikipedia page.
And what about the coral? And the plastic? There’s potential for danger there.

A
There’s danger.

C
There’s potential for danger there.
At all times you have to keep your guard up at all times because there’s potential for danger and you can end up dead and stuffed in a manhole if you’re not careful.

A
It surrounds us all, danger.

B
If you don’t watch your back you’re guaranteed to be tied up in someone’s basement and like sitting in your own feces and just monumentally bummed.

C
If you’re not careful you’re gonna squander away your freedom and you’re not gonna be tied up but you won’t be much better off, if you’re not vigilant.
If you’re not paying attention you’re gonna get hurt do you hear me if you’re not scanning the road from side to side and checking the side mirrors and the rearview mirror—you cannot trust a backup camera—if you’re not moving your head in all directions at all times and also your body, you have to rotate your body as well as your head but don’t do it in a way that will arouse suspicion do you hear me if you’re not spinning around as you walk down the street like you’re a planet in orbit you are mostly certain to wind up god knows where with who knows who OK?

A
Look where you’re planting your feet OK when you spin look out for roots OK you gotta look where you’re planting your feet.